To the wives

This title of course is a take on a chapter in the AA ‘Big Book”.   Everything that we are saying here holds true for any significant other or friend or family of any drinker–male or female.

Here at HAMS we have a saying:”perfectionism is the enemy of the good”

If your husband improves in his drinking habits then you need to support that no matter how small the improvement. It doesn’t matter if he drinks more safely, or cuts back or even quits–every positive change is a positive change and needs to be recognized as such.

If you keep demanding that your husband be perfectly abstinent because that is what he has to do to satisfy you the odds that you will make him actually become abstinent are infinitesimal. It is far more likely that his drinking will become far worse than it ever has before.

Alanon is poison. Demands for perfection almost always backfire and blow up in your face. If you want to see your husband dead in a drunk driving accident then go ahead and throw that Alanon shit and those demands for perfection in his face.

Alanon has probably killed more drinkers and broken up more marriages than any organization since AA itself.

If you really love your husband and want to see him get better then you need to recognize that better IS better and you need to encourage every positive change. Harm reduction may be just the thing that works for your husband.

People like Miller and Rollnick who invented Motivational Interviewing have taught us that the way to get people to change is not to nag them. It is to give them a chance to examine what they really want and to support them in making positive changes.

The life you save may be your husband’s.

Copyright © 2009, The HAMS Harm Reduction Network

Is PAWS an Iatrogenic Artifact of 12 Step Treatment?

Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome–PAWS–seems almost entirely iatrogenic–in other words it is an artifact of the treatment modality which would not occur if people were quitting naturally on their own because they chose to instead of quitting through a 12 step treatment program and against their will because someone forced them to be there.

Just think of it–suddenly you are deprived of your favorite hobby in the world and told that you will NEVER EVER be able to enjoy it again. Isn’t this enough to make anyone miserable even if the hobby were knitting or reading comic books rather than drinking?

You are horribly shamed by your “recovery” group if you ever drink again.

You are forced to attend these godawful brainwashing meeting which are a torture in and of themselves and on top of that you are forced to believe in one of the sickest and most twisted theologies on record–the god of Bill Wilson’s 12 steps who has created alcohol to torture humainty and before whom we were all lost until finally god in his infinite mercy revealed the 12 steps to Bill Wilson who could now go and become the savior of humanity.

BARF BARF BARF BARF BARF!!

Sitting in AA meetings and listening to this sort of garbage is sure to make you sick–if you stay away from the 12 steps and if you quit by your own choice–whether cold turkey or through pharmacological extinction or through gradual reduction you will never have PAWS.

Brain disease my great aunt’s sweet patootie!!!

Copyright © 2009, The HAMS Harm Reduction Network

Why hide the fact that you’re a hamster?

Hamsters should be loud and proud. We are actually taking steps to get better! Maybe that asshole sitting next to you in the bar is planning to get in his car and put his life and the lives of others at risk when he leaves tonight. We hamsters are not. We are taking the steps to make sure that neither ourselves nor others are harmed by our drinking. This is not a badge of shame. This is a badge of honor. Be a hamster loud and proud!

Copyright © 2009, The HAMS Harm Reduction Network